I Never
by LOTRDesmond
Summary: The Fellowship has a little fun their last night in Lorien. oneshot


I Never

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these wonderful characters and this is a work of fiction as my knowledge of Lord of the Rings in inadequate to create an "true" story.

Author's Notes: Ok this is a kind of mix between movie verse and the book so try not to get confused. Reviews are nice but flames are not! Enjoy…

It was the last night they were to spend in Lorien. Those who remained in the Fellowship were reunited with those who had been among the elves. They had all gathered in the large tent that had been provided for them for dinner. The purpose of the meeting, initially, was to plot their route once they had left the land of the elves. But it soon became much more then that.

"You all look miserable!" said Pippin. "We ought to play a game to cheer everyone up!"

"What kind of game?" asked Boromir quizzically "We have no cards or dice, what could we play?"

The others however were not this skeptical. The idea of a game was excellent! But Boromir did have a point.

"We will play a drinking game" answered Pippin simply

Everyone nodded in approval of this idea except Legolas. He had never been much of a drinker at home and usually did not partake in the wine games at the great feasts. Aragorn smiled at the look on Legolas's face.

"Come now Legolas play with us! I am sure your sensitive stomach could take one game."

Legolas threw Aragorn a death glare but consented to play the game.

"The name of the game is I Never," said Merry as everyone's mug was filled. "It's quite simple really, you go around in a circle and you say "I never.." and then you fill in the sentence. The if it is something you have done before you take a drink. I'll go first… I never crossed the Misty Mountains before in my life."

At this Aragorn and Legolas took a drink but no one else did.

"My turn!" said Sam "I've never seen an elf before." Legolas smiled and took a sip so did Aragorn and Frodo.

"Alright," Boromir said, " I never saw a hobbit before." All the hobbits drank and so did Legolas.

"What hobbit did you see Mister Legolas?" asked Sam

"Frodo's Uncle Bilbo when he went on his adventure." Answered Legolas

"Speaking of which," said Gimli "I never locked 13 dwarves up on the dungeon only to have them escape in barrels before."

Legolas sighed and took another sip...and hiccuped.

"If you all keep saying things that Legolas has done before then he is going to be very drunk indeed." Said Aragorn "So I never had a father who strayed off the path in Mirkwood and was caught by spiders before."

Gimli chuckled and to everyone's surprise so did Legolas.

"When he was an elfling he had to be rescued by my grandsire." Said Legolas meekly trying to explain.

"How about I never stole a firework from Gandalf's cart and got caught," said Frodo. Both Merry and Pippin took deep drafts from their mugs as Frodo said this. Then Legolas said,

"Well I wasn't caught!"

Pippin burst out laughing. It was hard to imagine a young prince of Mirkwood stealing a firework from Gandalf and not getting caught.

"I have never lived for over 100 years." Said Pippin mockingly. Legolas shrugged and took another sip.

"How old are you Legolas?" Frodo asked.

"Well…" Legolas said

"Come on Master Elf we want to know." Chided Gimli

"Fine," Legolas snapped "920, are you happy?"

"Oh my." Said Pippin he couldn't gauge a number that large in the years of life. "That's a long time."

"Thank you for reminding me how old I am Pip." Said Legolas airily "I never asked an elf how old he was before." Then he took a drink and so did Frodo and Gimli.

This went on for a long time well into the night. The battle of 'I never' could be heard until only a few hours before dawn. One by one the members of the Fellowship fainted. First Sam then Boromir, Frodo, Gimli, Merry, and then Pippin. Eventually it was just Legolas and Aragorn left. The elf was quite red in the face and not feeling well. He had no idea why he wasn't on the ground sick as a dog. Their battle went on and on until Legolas said,

"I never kissed Arwen." In a groggy voice

Aragorn smiled and drank then tipped over…he had fainted.

"There's your sensitive stomach." Legolas said rolling him over with his foot, "I never won the game I never!"

He drained his mug at his final question and then he fell to the ground in a dead faint.


End file.
